I was so grateful for the time to relax and build up energy for the main event. I was so excited to finally meet Anna and see Zach become a father. It helped me feel more relaxed to know I wasn't the only one so anxious to meet Anna. Zach may have been the most excited I have ever seen him, but he did a good job keeping his cool. My mom was also excited and kept letting Anna know how ready we were to meet her. Still, no matter my excitement or how real this was becoming, I could not comprehend becoming a mother. I could not imagine holding a baby I could call mine, in my arms. It all seemed so far away and too good to be true, so I stayed calm, and anxious, and when the doctor came in to check on me again I was 10 cm dilated. Finally.
We did a practice push. It
was good, but it wasn't time yet. He left and came back an hour later,
we did another practice push, again it was good but not strong enough,
we needed to let the epidural ware off. No more happy button pushing for
me. That scared me, knowing that the knock your socks off pain was
going to have to come back, but I refrained from pushing that delightful
blue button of joy. They checked my cervix again and broke my water. For the next hours I was amazed at how much liquid one body could hold.
It truly felt like a gallon of milk was knocked over on its side and
steadily sloshing out warm water that never really emptied. The doctor
came back again an hour latter, my push was better but still not strong
enough. I needed more control. They called in the anesthesiologist to
bring down the dosage. I was now under orders to call when I felt a
strong urge to push. Another hour came and went as we quickly approached
late afternoon. Wow, there it was, I could feel that need to push
kicking in. The doctor came back, another practice push was done and
yes, we were ready, and yes, it was starting to hurt.
stayed on my left, the doctor on my right. Both knees were brought back
to my ears as I placed a foot in Zachs hand and one on the doctor to
begin pushing with the contractions. The doctor coached, and told me how
to push, Zach rubbed my head and encouraged me on. After pushing three
times in a row we would stop, breath, and wait for the next strong
contraction. When it would hit we would assume the knee to ear position,
inhale deeply and push for ten seconds, quick breath, push for ten, quick
breathe push for ten and break. I have no idea what was going on round me at this point. All of my energy was focused on feeling when to push and pushing. It was still inconceivable at this point how it would feel to see and hold our little girl. The doctor kept telling us he could see the head but it still didn't feel real. The head, he could see her head! It was time to get serious.