After being late three days and three conclusive tests later, we figured it was true. We still couldn't fully believe it was real until we got the, "Congratulations," from the doctor a week and a half later. Even after that, we were filled with inexpressible feelings ranging from fear to giddy excitement. Gratefully when the doctor asked if I wanted to keep the baby I was able to answer with a definite "yes." While we might have moments of fear and doubt at our ability to raise a child, we know that this is what we should be doing at this point in our lives. I don't know that I will ever feel ready to be a mother, but I think I feel a little more up to the challenge every day.
At my first ultrasound, on week ten, I was able to see the baby for the first time. It was the first time I really let myself feel the reality of it. I looked up at the screen and felt the tears instantly cover my face. I could barely thank the doctor for the handful of tissues she handed me. From the front it literally looked like a gummy bear with out the ears. (So stinkin' cute!) From the side I was able to see the rapid heart beat. It is living and growing so much every day. Now at week 12 our little gummy bear is about the size of a lime and all of its little parts and organs are starting to work. We are already so proud of our new addition and can't wait to meet this little spirit.
Merry Christmas everyone!
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