In
The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learn that men and women are
endowed with a divine destiny “All human beings—male
and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or
daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and
destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal,
and eternal identity and purpose.”
I think it is so
interesting that Heavenly Father made men and women different and that He
created us to fill different and specific roles. It says that our gender is an
essential characteristic for our eternal purpose. This of course makes me think
of motherhood. Men cannot carry and deliver their children, that is a role
specifically designed for women. Even when the dear husbands who have stayed by
their wifes side through every step of pregnancy, labor, and delivery wishing
desperately that they could step in for a minute and take that discomfort upon
themselves, they could not. I think it is an amazing sacrifice and trial men
must go through.
The Proclamation goes
on to say” The first commandment that God
gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and
wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and
replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded
that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and
woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare
the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm
the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
Husband and
wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and
for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3).
Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to
provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and
serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens
wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held
accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”
What a responsibility! Heavenly
Father has entrusted generations of parents with His sons and daughters. I was
overwhelmed by this thought often as I lay awake at night during our pregnancy
with Anna. It was overwhelming to know that I was about to bring one of
Heavenly Fathers children back home with me from the hospital. It filled me
with an urgency to get my life in order, to have a home where the spirit would
be comfortable, where my daughter, really Heavenly Fathers daughter would be
able to grow close to Him. What a beautiful thing.
I
absolutely love the talk by Sheri Dew ‘Are we not all Mothers?’. I feel that
before I was a mother I was too quick to assume no one was looking up to me and
that I wouldn’t be a roll model until I had a little mini me.
Sister
Dew said, “Have you ever wondered why prophets
have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is
doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work
of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has
driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach
an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a
doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and
immovable” 2
regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared
war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock
the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous
mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.”
“When we understand the magnitude
of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s
most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with
maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of
meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her
essence, both God
the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” 3
—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our
motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to
hold the priesthood in mortality, 4
righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of
motherhood. 5
Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It
is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine
stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.”
While reading Sister Dews talk I started thinking back on my
own childhood and all the woman I looked up to as mother figures. I remember
going over to friends houses and calling their moms my “mom number 2”. While I
was using it as a silly term of endearment, I do remember walking onto their
homes and picking out traits I wanted to have when I grew up. I was blessed to
have teachers, friend’s parents, neighbors, young women’s leaders, sisters,
aunts, grandmothers, an amazing mother-in-law and my own very dear mother to
look up to.
“President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted
within women something divine.” 6
That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew
Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to
make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an
inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and
the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”
Sheri Dew goes on to say, “Motherhood is not what was left
over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the
most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave
women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As
President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as
eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”
That statement is so empowering to me. Men have been given
the sacred responsibility that is the priesthood while women were given
motherhood. None of us could have gained a mortal body without a mother, none
of us could learn what we needed to know without the help of mother figures
(primary teachers, youth leaders, parents and so on) teaching us the plan of
salvation and helping us to live the Commandments.
Alma 57: 25-27 says; And it came to pass
that there were two hundred, out of my two thousand and sixty, who had fainted
because of the loss of blood; nevertheless, according to the goodness of God,
and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was anot one soul of
them who did perish; yea, and neither was there one soul among them who had not
received many wounds.
And now, their apreservation
was astonishing to our whole army, yea, that they should be spared while there
was a thousand of our brethren who were slain. And we do justly ascribe it to
the miraculous bpower of God,
because of their exceeding cfaith in that
which they had been taught to believe—that there was a just God, and whosoever
did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power.
Now this was the afaith of these
of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are bfirm, and they
do put their trust in God continually.”
We learn why they had such faith in
Alma 56:47-48 “Now
they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more
upon the aliberty of
their bfathers
than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their cmothers, that
if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
And they rehearsed unto me the
words of their amothers,
saying: We bdo not doubt
our mothers knew it.”
Every time I read those scriptures I am filled with a
renewed sense of purpose. While we lived in New York I worked full time for a
little company in Chelsea. I loved working there and felt a great sense of
purpose, I felt needed, and I felt like I was carrying my own weight. After
having Anna I continued working part time and begin to feel a pull in two
directions. A part of me felt like I had to keep working, so many other mothers
worked, and New York is expensive! The other part of me felt I was doing Anna
and myself a huge injustice and that I would be depriving her of many learning experiences
by not being with her at home. This is a struggle I cannot adequately put into
words. Even after we had moved and I stopped looking for work here in Utah, I
still struggled. I felt I had lost purpose in my life, that now I was ONLY a
mom. Only a mom, are you kidding me? Look at what Sheri Dew, Alma, and the
Presidency of the Church have said. I want my children to learn about the
gospel from me, I want primary, school, and society to enforce what I am
teaching my children in the home. I want my children to be able to say “I do
not doubt my mother knew it”. What we
teach through word and action is so much more important than anything we do
outside the home.
Sheri Dew goes on to
say “As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all
mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to
love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to
live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what
we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face
temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and
femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to
value women of God if we don’t show them the virtue of our virtues?”
While its Mothers day
and my thoughts sound directed to the women only, I think what Sister Dew said
here is really important for all of us. Men and women can be good examples of
virtue. In 2011 October Conference Elain
S. Dalton stated “The most important thing a father can do for his [daughter]
is to love [her] mother.”1
By the way you love her mother, you will teach your daughter about tenderness,
loyalty, respect, compassion, and devotion. She will learn from your example
what to expect from young men and what qualities to seek in a future spouse.
You can show your daughter by the way you love and honor your wife that she
should never settle for less. Your example will teach your daughter to value
womanhood. You are showing her that she is a daughter of our Heavenly Father,
who loves her.” (Love Her Mother, October 2011 Conference)
Zach will continue to
play an important role in teaching Anna about her divine worth and eternally
important role of motherhood. Just like the Proclimation on the Family says “Parents
have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide
for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one
another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever
they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable
before God for the discharge of these obligations”. By the way parents
treat each other and by the way our children and youth see all adults interact
they will learn as the stripling warriors learned weather or not we KNOW.
There are 4 things
that I have really taken away from this while preparing my remarks.
1) Each
of us are a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, we
each have a divine nature and destiny.
2) Parents
have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness… mothers
and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these
obligations
3) Motherhood is as divinely called
and as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself
4) We
each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation
I am so grateful for
a mother and father that cared enough about me to teach me about the sacred
truths they knew as best as they could. I am equally grateful for in-laws that
raised a man I am proud to call my husband. I am grateful that he holds the
priesthood and the he uses it to bless our home. I cannot even begin to express
in words my profound appreciation for the chance I have had to become a mother
to Anna. I am grateful for all the women I looked up to and for all those that
will become good examples for my children.
I know that Heavenly
Father knows and loves each and everyone of us. I know he loves us so much so
that he sent his only begotten son to suffer and die for us so we can return to
live with him and our families again. I am grateful for his infinite wisdom and
love.
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