Shopping Buddy

I can't get enough of this little girl. She is already my favorite little shopping buddy. She stayed happy and calm through the subway experience, two malls and thousands of adoring fans. Seriously this little girl turns you into a rockstar. Once any group of girl realized what I was carrying, the high pitched adoring wouldn't stop until we were finally out of ear shot. I have a hard time staying humble when I have such fans of my offspring everywhere I go.

Feeding Frenzie

Here is what not enough people tell expecting mothers: breast feeding is hard!

Breast feeding is not easy, it's a natural thing that is not natural for mother or baby, and it takes a lot of work. Anyone I talked to about the struggles of breastfeeding had a similar story.

Anna had a hard time latching. So we had to teach her how to suck the right way. We did this by putting my finger in her mouth and Zach would syringe feed her milk I had expressed earlier. We would do this and try to breast feed after each syringe feeding to teach her how to latch properly. She would latch on for a few minutes every once in a while but she would never stay on for long and would often get too frustrated to even eat at all.We are getting things figured out and making it work for us, and it looks like latching is starting to happen, but it is not an easy business.

The best part about this feeding routine was her cute eating face. It bears an uncanny resemblance to 'The Scream' by Edward Munich. Or Macaulay Culkin from 'Home Alone' but way cuter of course. 

Happy "Birth"day

Anna Leora Allen was born 8 lbs 20.87 inches long, Saturday, July 27th 2013, at 6:36 pm. Early labor began Friday night at  8:00, pushing began around 4:00 Saturday afternoon. She was born with brown hair, a birth mark on the back of her neck, long, perfect fingers and toes, and steel blue eyes.

We love her so much. We feel an indescribable bond with her. Even though I had to get used to putting her name to this new face she has quickly become the one our world revolves around. So we apologize now for all the pictures of Anna that have and will hit Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. She is all we can think about and our lives are completely wrapped up in her.

I love looking at her and seeing both myself and Zach in her face and features. Of course we think she will be the most beautiful girl alive with brown curly hair, olive skin tones and bright green or blue eyes. Exactly how beautiful, time will tell. We are excited to see her through every phase and stage of life. Welcome to life little Anna and happy 'birth'day!

How Mothers are Made : Active Labor

I was so grateful for the time to relax and build up energy for the main event. I was so excited to finally meet Anna and see Zach become a father. It helped me feel more relaxed to know I wasn't the only one so anxious to meet Anna. Zach may have been the most excited I have ever seen him, but he did a good job keeping his cool. My mom was also excited and kept letting Anna know how ready we were to meet her.  Still, no matter my excitement or how real this was becoming, I could not comprehend becoming a mother. I could not imagine holding a baby I could call mine, in my arms. It all seemed so far away and too good to be true, so I stayed calm, and anxious, and when the doctor came in to check on me again I was 10 cm dilated. Finally.

We did a practice push. It was good, but it wasn't time yet. He left and came back an hour later, we did another practice push, again it was good but not strong enough, we needed to let the epidural ware off. No more happy button pushing for me. That scared me, knowing that the knock your socks off pain was going to have to come back, but I refrained from pushing that delightful blue button of joy. They checked my cervix again and broke my water. For the next hours I was amazed at how much liquid one body could hold. It truly felt like a gallon of milk was knocked over on its side and steadily sloshing out warm water that never really emptied. The doctor came back again an hour latter, my push was better but still not strong enough. I needed more control. They called in the anesthesiologist to bring down the dosage. I was now under orders to call when I felt a strong urge to push. Another hour came and went as we quickly approached late afternoon. Wow, there it was, I could feel that need to push kicking in. The doctor came back, another practice push was done and yes, we were ready, and yes, it was starting to hurt.

Zach stayed on my left, the doctor on my right. Both knees were brought back to my ears as I placed a foot in Zachs hand and one on the doctor to begin pushing with the contractions. The doctor coached, and told me how to push, Zach rubbed my head and encouraged me on. After pushing three times in a row we would stop, breath, and wait for the next strong contraction. When it would hit we would assume the knee to ear position, inhale deeply and push for ten seconds, quick breath, push for ten, quick breathe push for ten and break. I have no idea what was going on round me at this point. All of my energy was focused on feeling when to push and pushing. It was still inconceivable at this point how it would feel to see and hold our little girl. The doctor kept telling us he could see the head but it still didn't feel real. The head, he could see her head! It was time to get serious.

The final stages of pushing commenced. This pushing routine went on for about an hour and a half. Then I could feel it, her head dropped and she was in place. Quickly our room transformed, my legs were thrown up into leg rests that were elevated, nurses ran in, I gave the final pushes, Zach could see her now, it was real, one last solid push and her head was out. Another push and her shoulders were out. Another push and the placenta was gone. I loved hearing Zach tell me what was going on. In a flurry that lasted about 2 minutes the umbilical chord was cut, I was stitched up, Anna was weighed, throat cleared, eyes gooped with disinfectant, and she was placed on my chest. There she was and all I could do was cry. It was real, she was here, it was so much more meaningful and beautiful than I ever thought possible. She took my breath away and all I could do was stare and hold her. I didn't want her out of my sight.

How Mothers are Made : Early Labor

After 9 months of the best pregnancy I could ever have asked for I was keeping my fingers crossed for an equally easy and pain free birthing experience. I was 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Each minute after her ETA felt like an eternity. I was so grateful to have my mom here so I could distract myself by playing tour guide. I probably over did it most days as we felt pretty beat by our third day of hard touring. So on Thursday we took it nice and easy. We slept in, got things ready, did some laundry and called it a day after a nap or two. We decided by 5 o'clock that we needed a celebratory dinner for my mom who had just passed some pretty important exams. We headed downtown to grab Zach, walk to Times Square and get some grub. With bellies full and energy restored, we walked over to Bryant Park. We picked a few chairs to sit and people watch while my mom called up the future grandpa.

By this point I had started feeling my contractions get a little less comfortable. Instead of just a hardening of the abdomen I  noticed some mild discomfort kick in my back and where I like to imagine my ovaries still reside. Still the discomfort was bearable and I really didn't want to get my hopes up so I didn't think too much about it. My mom started pointing out how funny my belly was looking and it was obvious that the contractions were more visible, not just to me, but to everyone else as well. So, we started timing. 8 minutes apart, 9 minutes, 8, 7, 8, 10, 6..... They stayed consistently inconsistent but within the 10 minute mark until we got home. I decided to take a shower to see if that would calm things down and hop in bed. Well no, and as a matter of fact they started to hurt, like knock the wind out of you but you try and play it cool by talking through it or just rolling over for that minute or two, kind of hurt. Midnight passed, and contractions were getting close. They were 5-6 minutes apart lasting 1-2 minutes a piece and getting stronger.

Zach called the hospital and we were told we would get a call back from the attending doctor soon. 2 am came and went, the Taxi was called, I was perfecting my breathing and laying as still as possible routine. The doctor finally called back and gave me the green light to head on in. I got up and dressed and started the rocking back and forth while bending over and looking like I was about to die routine. Standing felt better than lying down and gave me something else to focus on. To be honest, pushing her out was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to survive past the next contraction. With all three of us up and ready to go we hopped in the cab and headed to the Hospital. A 15 minute drive, a quick check in, and I was finally getting hooked up to all the monitors around 4 am. Zach was the only one allowed to stay with me during the initial testing, so my mom explored downstairs and found a place to curl up and relax for a bit. Sitting and waiting in that room I was finally able to think about what the next day would bring. It was happening, we were finally going to meet our little girl. Part me, part Zach, she would come and our lives would never be like they used too. I was scared and excited and altogether exhausted by the overwhelming emotions that flooded  over me. The contractions came a little quicker and a little stronger and my resolve to see this through naturally gave way. I was moved  to the delivery room and I announced my readiness for the epidural. They asked me what my pain level was, like Brian Regan I announced "8!".  As soon as the anesthesiologist could get out of the operating room she hooked me up. Again my mom was dismissed at this point and they sat me up, wiped down my spine and put the tube that would deliver the pain relief on demand between my vertebrae. Relief was instant, happy 8 day. I could breath and relax again. My legs felt warm and I was surprised how much I could still feel, but the pain was gone. So from about 6 in  the morning to 12 in the afternoon we all slept, watched food network, ate jello, drank juice, chatted, watched the contractions increase on the monitor and listened to Annas heartbeat.

Saturday Sunset

The day before my mom went back to Utah we enjoyed a beautiful sunset at the top of the hill across the street from our apartment. It's just below the Cloisters and a beautiful walk and view of New Jersey.
At this point the most walking I had done was from my hospital bed to the cab. I was amazed at how much my hip/butt muscles hurt! I had to walk at snail speed all the way up the hill with a funny kind of limp just to get my legs to move. ha. I was reminded of what a traumatic event my body went through a short 8 days before. I was surprised to see I still was not back to even 80%. Go figure. I guess I'm normal and will need at least 4 more weeks to really heal. I am just amazed at what the human body can do. I think God knew what he was doing. Amazing.

Showing off NYC Part 4

We loved showing off Dumbo, one of our favorite spots in Brooklyn. The evening light made everything look even more beautiful.
The night I started having regular contractions we spent eating a big dinner and walking around Bryant Park. Little did I know what exactly the next 24 hours would bring.

The last picture of my big belly before Anna was born less than 24 hours later.